


Forever

by mymusicalbox



Category: Banana Fish (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Angst, Ash is so broken, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, i guess?, i self betaed my work, mentions to rape and pedophilia, please let them be happy, poor summary, post episode 11, sorry for the mistakes, sorry for the ooc, this is the fic where Eiji says forever
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-14
Updated: 2018-09-14
Packaged: 2019-07-12 09:26:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,020
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15992393
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mymusicalbox/pseuds/mymusicalbox
Summary: The sound of running water woke Eiji up from his half-slumber. He was usually a heavy sleeper and falling asleep wasn’t that of a problem for him on normal circumstances. When he heard some kind of noise in the apartment, he got out of the bed to check if Ash was okay, because, after all, he was supposed not to leave his side. And he wouldn’t, he wouldn’t. The Japanese followed the noise of running water that was coming from the bathroom, and then he found him.





	Forever

The sound of running water woke Eiji up from his half-slumber. He was usually a heavy sleeper and falling asleep wasn’t that of a problem for him on normal circumstances.

 

That’s it, _on normal circumstances_ , and the situation Eiji found himself in right now and had found himself in during the past few weeks weren’t anything but normal.

 

It’s not like he _chose_ this, but once he met Ash Lynx, _he couldn’t leave him by himself_ , let alone after what happened with Shorter, which only occurred a few hours ago. Ash had somehow managed to break free from the chains that were keeping him still. He even got Ibe-san, Max and himself a few weapons from the secret mafia armory.

 

Ash was clever and knew how to survive. But that wasn’t a good thing at all, and Eiji knew that.

 

When Eiji heard Ash’s voice from the other side of the door, he couldn’t help but get excited and find his energy back. He felt relieved, _happy._ But not for himself, he felt happy because Ash was safe. When the latter busted the lock and they reunited, Eiji had to hug the blonde, though the latter quickly squirmed away and hissed of the pain because he was badly hurt.

 

At that moment, Eiji was determined to protect himself; he didn’t want to be a burden to Ash anymore, he wanted him to be okay more than anything in the world, so he asked him for a gun.

 

Surprisingly, Ash denied his request while approaching him and saying that he would protect him from that moment onwards. From anything.

 

 _Never leave my side,_ he said.

 

 _I wasn’t planning to,_ Eiji thought.

 

So, when he heard some kind of noise in the apartment, he got out of the bed to check if Ash was okay, because, after all, he was supposed not to leave his side. And he wouldn’t, he wouldn’t. The Japanese followed the noise of running water that was coming from the bathroom, and then he found him.

 

He found a slightly trembling, panting Ash splashing water on his face. Eiji figured out that he probably had had a nightmare, so the least he could do was to comfort him. When Ash turned away from the mirror and looked at Eiji, the latter felt that he was _falling._ He had jumped for a few times during his life, but now his heart was slowly falling and breaking into pieces.

 

Ash’s look was unbearable. He looked so _broken, so desperate._ His beautiful green eyes were teary and puffy, his hair was a mess and his expression was heart-wrenching.

 

When the two of them looked at each other, Ash silently left to return to his bed, but gestured to Eiji, probably because he wanted Eiji to follow him, and so he did.

 

Ash sat silently on the bed for a few minutes, head down, staring at the floor. At the same time, Eiji was kneeled on the floor with his hand on the bed. He was staring at Ash, waiting for him to calm down and muster his courage to speak. He didn’t want to make Ash feel even worse.

 

“I tried to forget” Ash finally let out. It was a whisper, a quiet sentence that still sounded like a desperate plead for help in an almost-dark room, only illuminated by a dim light.

 

After a brief pause, Ash continued to speak.

 

  
“Former male prostitute, gang leader, murderer, and I still get shaken up” _Because you… you have a good heart. You are a good person in a bad world, but you deserve the best,_ Eiji thought.

 

“Don’t say that about yourself.” Eiji said instead as he lifted himself to look at Ash.

 

Then, the blonde looked straight at Eiji, eyes wide open, fear written all over his face.

 

“I was 8 when I first killed a man” Ash said, and Eiji knew. His father explained the tragic story back when they were at Cape Cod. If when he heard it for the first time he was at the verge of crying, hearing it straight from Ash made him feel miserable, because he knew that this has haunted Ash during his entire life and will continue to do so.

 

“I was raped.” Eiji suppressed his urge to clasp Ash’s hand. The fact that Ash was opening up to him made Eiji realize that he had to be cautious, he didn’t want to barge himself up into Ash’s personal space.

 

“I was terrified” Ash followed “So scared, I couldn’t find my voice.” Eiji continued to listen to the blonde. “My heart was screaming for help, but I couldn’t let out a single cry.” As he talked, Eiji kept his stare fixated at Ash’s expression. It was getting sadder and sadder.

 

“When I shot him, I cried. I cried because I felt nothing”

 

Then, Ash’s shoulders began to tremble again, and he murmured something that shattered Eiji’s soul, even though the most broken one in that room was Ash, and Eiji was incredibly sorry. “I’m scared of myself” Ash said while looking at his hands. “I killed Shorter.” _It’s not your fault,_ Eiji thought.

 

And that was the breaking point. Tears started to fall into Ash’s hands. “I don’t know how much blood is on my hands.”

 

Ash was right, they were from very different worlds. Ash’s was ruthless, cruel, cold, it forced him to grow up as a killer, as a feared figure who had to murder who knows how many people, because he needed to survive. He was imprisoned by a mafia head and rose up against him, which caused him another wave of mass suffering and endless running away. Eiji doubted if he even had a place to belong.

 

And the worst part of it, _he was only 17 years old_.

 

“I don’t feel anything. Nothing…” Those last words were muttered against the blonde’s hand, which was covering his face. His beautiful, _hurt_ face.

 

And that, again, was the breaking point, but this time, it was Eiji’s.

 

He knew an Ash who was more than what he was forced to be. He knew a compassionate, loyal guy who would do anything to protect his loved ones. He knew a 17 years old guy stripped of his childhood and his innocence. He knew him and he felt hopelessly attached to him.

 

Eiji got up from the floor and sat at Ash’s side; the bed creaked a bit under his weight.

 

“Ash, it’s okay. Calm down.” He said as he ran a soothing hand across Ash’s shoulder blade and back. He really wanted to hug him and to rock him back and forth as he whispered sweet words in his ear, but right now, Eiji knew that Ash needed another kind of reassurance.

 

“You do feel it.” Eiji followed. _In fact, you feel too much._ “You’re hurt, really hurt.” That thought formed a lump inside Eiji’s throat. The (probably ~~definitely)~~ most important person in his life was thoroughly shattered and that was way too much to bear.

 

“I can tell.” Eiji’s hand was on Ash’s forearm, and the latter was still trembling.

 

“You saved me. If you feel responsible, the same goes for me.” Eiji stated, his expression saddening as flashbacks of Shorter’s death came to his mind.

 

After those words, Ash lifted his head and took his hand away from his face. His precious, gorgeous, teary green eyes were staring at Eiji’s dark ones.

 

“My words might not mean anything now, but just remember one thing” Eiji was being serious, probably the most he had been in his entire life.

 

“Even if the world turns on you, I’ll _always_ be on your side.” He claimed.

 

“I’ll stay by your side” came out Eiji’s determined words. He wanted Ash to know that when he said he’d wait for him _forever,_ he wasn’t joking. He really meant it. “That is, if you don’t mind.” Ash’s eyes widened, and a few tears escaped from them. Eiji would have wiped them away, but again, this was about giving Ash time to talk about his feelings. Eiji was incredibly grateful to feel Ash’s trust in him. He treasured Ash, and maybe, _maybe,_ Ash felt the same.

 

“Does that mean I have to keep eating those nasty sandwiches?” Ash asked while rubbing his face. _Does this mean he’s feeling better?_ That thought was very pleasant to Eiji, so his reply was followed by a huge grin.

 

“That’s right, lucky you. Tofu sandwiches are good for you. Your health is safe in my ha-“

 

Ash dropped his head onto Eiji’s lap, so Eiji’s words stayed at his throat. He was utterly surprised by how close they had ended up being, physically speaking, at that moment.

 

“Stay by my side” Ash pleaded.

 

_Oh, no. He was trembling again._

 

“It doesn’t have to be forever, Eiji. Even if it’s just for now.”

 

Then, Eiji softly looked at Ash and put a hand on his back.

 

“Forever.” Eiji said.

 

“ _Forever_ ” Eiji repeated again, like a prayer. His head kept repeating this word over and over again. There was no way in hell that he’d abandon Ash, he’d stay with him.

 

Later on, Ash fell asleep on the bed, and Eiji kept him watch during the rest of the night. He had vowed to stay with him forever, after all. And that’s what he’d do.

 

A few minutes passed, and exhaustion hit him and he fell asleep on Ash’s stomach, dreaming of the two of them in Izumo, living a pleasant life. Ash wasn’t suffering that much anymore, they were living together, they occasionally had dumb arguments and cursed each other but then ended up laughing… Ash still had nightmares in Eiji’s dream, but Eiji was always there to comfort him, to tell him that everything was okay now, that they were together, that they’d be together _forever_ as he promised. And Ash knew, because he had heard it really clearly, even though it was just a shy whisper coming from Eiji’s mouth.

 

And one day, in Eiji’s dream, they were in his room, alone, talking nonsense, when Ash’s hand clasped his. It felt nice. Ash sometimes did that, they would often hold hands or share light touches and Eiji was very, very happy because he knew Ash was trying to move forward. Ash had always _been forced_ to move forward. Nurture made him cunning, a real strategist. But now he was living a simple life and he was moving, progressing step by step, by his own will.

 

“Eiji, may I ask you something?” Ash said, breaking the comfortable silence of Eiji’s room in that nice, spring afternoon.

 

“Yeah, go on”

 

“Do you think you know me?”

 

“Well… I do?” He has spent enough time with the blonde to confirm that he, indeed, did. He knew the Ash he _had to be,_ and the Ash _he was._ And he accepted it. He accepted and _loved_ Aslan Jade Callenreese.

 

“Well, if you do know me that much, you sloppy Japanese, tell me what’s my favorite word.” Ash let out in a teasing tone, accompanied by a smirk. Eiji wouldn’t admit it, but there was something in Ash’s smirks that really ignited a spark inside of him.

 

_Well, Ash himself set fireworks inside his whole body._

 

“Pumpkins?” Eiji teasingly asked with a smug expression, staring right at Ash.

 

“ _Shut up_. What’s my favorite word. I won’t talk to you until you guess it.” Ash snarled. Still as snarky as always, huh? Even though they’ve been living together for a few months in Japan…

 

“Oh come on, is the sensitive American offended because I brought the pumpkins up again? I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I didn’t want to offe-“

 

But Eiji couldn’t finish his sentence because Ash had leaned closer to Eiji, they were only inches apart. Ash threw a quick glance at Eiji’s lips, a silent question.

 

_Eiji nodded._

 

After sharing a chaste yet incredibly sweet kiss and all that Eiji needed, Ash whispered something against Eiji’s mouth when they broke apart.

 

“ _Forever.”_

 

And that’s when Eiji woke up, with a faint smile on his face.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! I'm back, and I hope to keep writing from now on. As I've mentioned a few times, I went on a huge writing hiatus and only wrote two fics in a year because they were a birthday present. I had important personal issues and I lost my motivation to write, to pretty much do anything, to be honest.
> 
> However, I'm on my way to recovery, and a few days ago, I started watching Banana Fish. Despite being an anime only fan, I've read a few things of the manga (because the page where I found it was really uncomfortable to read in, i couldn't even read the dialogue clearly) and accidentally spoiled myself the ending (haha) while looking for the number of the volumes of the manga on Wikipedia.
> 
> So as I was angry at Mappa leaving Eiji's forever out -this is one of the details I know since i read it on a post- (AND THE MIDDLE FINGER FOR FUCK'S SAKE) I got inspired and wrote this little fic. I know it's not great and that my English could be better (I'm Spanish) but I genuinely wanted to write something about these two, and I'll hopefully write more! 
> 
> Update: I'm currently reading the manga, turns out i didn't know you could read vertically on mangarock lol- now it's crying time
> 
> Thanks for reading and please comment if you liked it, or if you thought I have something to improve. And excuse me for te OOC.
> 
> I'm on tumblr @ weakeninghope if you want to hit me up to scream about Asheiji!
> 
> See you soon (hopefully) ~


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